Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? After the case is given to the jury, the lawyer and his client wait for the verdict, which doesn't come in for days. Q: And where is milepost 499? Privacy & Security | ", The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. The following week, all me. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great … ", His lawyer says there is not enough evidence. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? In a courtroom, where tensions are high... **Judge:** "How many peaches were in the tin? I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. A: I forget. Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? Q: With your life? Volleyball Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Ms. Olschner: Your honor, at this time, I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the head with his client's deposition. A: Just two, all the rest are true. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Purchase Agreement | Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? The only reason your husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!" Mickey gets a confused look on his face and says, “Judge, I never complained that she was insane. He picks it up and runs through the first door he sees, which leads to the judge\`s chambers. When Mickey opened the bedroom door, much to his dismay, he found Minnie having sex with Goofy. Q: What does a carpenter have in common with a volleyball player? Q: Did you see my client flee the scene? The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! A: The officer who responded to the scene. A: Once launched, they can't be recalled. A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. And sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Yes. A: By death. Do you have a room were you change your clothes in preparation for the day’s duties? In the courtroom the judge says to Mickey, “Mr Mouse, I don’t see any evidence to support your charge that Mrs Mouse has become insane”. A: Yes. Q: A fellow officer of yours provided the description of this so-called offender. Q: What year? Yes, I know you." A: We do. Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? The judge immediately shouts, "ODOUR IN THE COURT! Q: Who provided you with the description? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Three ducks were arrested for blowing bubbles in the pond. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? A: No. A: Just two, all the rest are true. Ms. Olschner: No sir, I mean swat him in the head with it. In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. But subsequently I observed someone running several blocks away who matched the description of the offender. A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? ", The two men were allegedly both involved in heinous crimes. As soon as the door has closed behind him, he doubles over laughing his ass off. Q: How many were boys? I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. In fact he was so excited to be in his new school, that the day before the first day of school, he asked his teacher what the students first homework assignment was so he start early. ", When the jury filed back into the courtroom, the judge noticed one was missing. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? To keep tradition going, everyone got drunk and the bride's and groom's families had a humongous fight and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other. Use these on the court!”> Quick, Funny Jokes! These are actual quotes of what people said in court, word for word: Q: Did you see my client flee the scene? “The lawyers sit at these tables. They are immediately taken before a judge who tells them "Look, it's late and I don't want to send three holy men to jail, so if you can give me a good. Q: And why did that upset you? Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer? There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.

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